How come the same person I used to tell everything to and do everything with now makes me feel nauseous when I’m in the same room as her? How come I think and care about her more than she ever did when we were still “friends” ?

In life you meet a lot of people which has its ups and downs. You could meet people who love you for you and you will know and be close with for the rest of your life however you could also meet people who act like this but then it flips out of nowhere and you are left feeling confused and hurt wondering what you did to be treated like that by not just some random person but someone you love and called your best friend.

“It’s sad when someone you know becomes someone you knew “ – Henry Rollins.

Whenever I walk past you , you can’t even bear to look at me. You act like I’m someone you’ve never met before. But we have met , matter of fact you met the version of me that others haven’t. I told you everything and you’d be lying to say you didn’t do the same to me . We used to sit and talk about our future being each other’s maid of honors, growing old together and now I’m just sitting here waiting for you to text me some sort of apology or reasoning to give me the closure I’ve been waiting for. 

“Letting go is more important than projecting a fantasy of how the relationship could have been “ -Sylvester McNutt.

I have to remind  myself that nothing I could say or do would make you come back into my life . Especially considering that you didn’t even try to hold onto the friendship that we did have . I was trying to be the bigger person and was apologizing for things that weren’t my fault to try and get your approval, it was something I craved I couldn’t even tell you why , it was like I was playing a game of tug a war the second I thought that we were getting close you’d pull and pull until I would snap , but no matter how much you pulled I would pull you back towards me with the little hope I had that that game wouldn’t end . 

“Some people mistake your kindness for weakness . They think your silence means surrender and your patience means permission “ – Stoic Wisdom.

We’ve known each other for a while and you know the type of person I am . You know that I’m not the first person to confront someone or speak my mind. I’ve always been that way . But that didn’t give you the right to use my own character against me , I sometimes find myself blaming myself for letting you treat me badly and walk over me but I have to remind myself that no matter what a good friend wouldn’t do that instead they would cherish the type of person you are and would hate even just the thought of someone mistreating you . 

“The secret of change is to focus all of your energy not on fighting the old but on building the new “ – Reader’s Digest.

I would be lying if I said that there aren’t times where I find myself looking back on our friendship and feeling a bunch of mixed emotions . However, no matter how many thoughts I think they won’t bring our friendship back . And as you grow up, that’s a hard lesson to learn. You’re going to meet many people in your lifetime and some will be with you for the rest of your life. On the other hand some people will turn into lessons that you learn that you carry with you throughout your life and other friendships . I truly believe that everyone you meet there’s a reason y’all’s paths have crossed.

“There is a purpose for everyone you meet … to test you , teach you, use you, or bring out the best in you .” John Geiger.